


Healing

by charivari



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: Hallucinations, Healing, Healing Sex, Hurt/Comfort, Illusions, M/M, Masturbation, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Psychiatric Abuse, Psychological Trauma, Triggers, heat - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-14
Updated: 2015-06-14
Packaged: 2018-04-04 07:48:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4130134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charivari/pseuds/charivari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Fort Max," Rung called softly, "You missed our session today." </p><p>Warning: please read tags.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Healing

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I've written something like this. It's pretty dark and deals with trauma as a result of rape but also the issue of healing from that experience. I've tried to make sure I tagged everything but if I've missed something please let me know so I can add the tag.

There was a knock on Max's hab suite.

"Fort Max," Rung called softly, "You missed our session today."

Max didn't respond. He remained huddled in the dark. 

"Fort Max," Rung persisted, "Please open the door. I need to make sure you're alright."

Max tensed. Rung seemed to know he was there. If he didn't answer, Rung might feel compelled to fetch Ultra Magnus. 

Reluctantly he moved out of position and opened the door a tiny sliver,

"I'm sorry Rung," he tried not to stammer and failed, "I... I lost track of time and... We can reschedule can't we?"

Rung gave him a warm smile,

"Of course we can," he said, "But if it's all the same, could I come in for moment?"

"No!" Max cried, "That's not a good idea."

Rung's smile slipped into a straight line of concern,

"Why is it not a good idea Fort Max?"

"I... I'm in heat," Max forced out.

As always Rung reacted with understanding and a distinct lack of judgement.

"That's nothing to be ashamed of," he said gently, "Heat is very common in..."

"You don't understand!" Max hissed, "I-I can't control myself."

Rung couldn't see - but his valve was currently exposed and it was dripping with lubricant. Filthy, filthy lubricant.

"I have to be alone," he told Rung.

He went to close the door but Rung was swifter, jamming his hand in the way. 

"No Max," he said in a slightly firmer voice, "You never need to be alone. And I must insist that you let me in."

Max couldn't slam the door on Rung's hand. He could only scurry back into the darkness as the psychiatrist entered his hab suite. Rung closed the door behind him.

"Can I turn on the light?" 

"No," Max pleaded, "I don't want you to see me like this."

"We have the same anatomy Max," Rung's voice rose out of the darkness, calm and reassuring, "It's nothing I haven't seen before."

"No!" Max shouted uselessly as Rung went to turn on the light.

"Oh Max," he uttered at sight of Max huddled in the far corner, thighs locked together to shield his valve from view. But he was unable to prevent to drip of lubricant onto the floor, "You look like you're in agony."

Max off-lined his optics shamefully.

"Please - don't look."

He heard Rung's footsteps approaching. He onlined his optics in time to see Rung bend down in front of him,

"Let me see," his hands fell gently on Max's knees, "Please."

Max reluctantly allowed Rung to open his legs. The orange mech showed no revulsion at the sight of his valve, only concern.

"There seems to be quite a buildup," he said, "Have you tried to relieve yourself?"

"No," Max whispered.

Rung gave him a small encouraging smile,

"Fort Max, there's nothing shameful about self-servicing. It's healthy and safe compared to interface with partner." 

"I can't!" Max cried, "If I - touch myself - I'll think of..."

He couldn't say the name. But Rung understood. He was his psychiatrist after all. He knew his history, he knew about Garrus-9.

Though until now, Max had kept this part a secret.

"He abused you," Rung said quietly.

"Worse," Max whispered, "He made it feel good. It amused him - restraining me so I couldn't - so I had to beg. And he would make me enjoy it."

He could hear Overlord's taunting voice in his processor.

"Such a wanton slut aren't you warden?"

Shame overwhelmed his frame.

"I'm so sick," he grasped his fins so tightly they threatened to snap off, "How could I have... What kind of sick person begs a monster like that to frag them - and then enjoy it? Worse than a buymech, worse than a mechanimal..."

Rung's hands cupped over Max's.

"He raped you Max," he said firmly, "He exploited the fact you were in no position to refuse him. It's not your fault. Nothing he did to you was your fault."

A sob heaved from Max's vocaliser.

"It's not your fault," Rung repeated, "Are you hearing me Fort Max?"

Max managed to nod. He loosened his grip on his fins.

"Even if it's n-not my fault," he whispered, "I can't self-service. My fingers will feel like his." 

He jolted as Rung gathered up both his hands and held them in front of Max's optics.

"These are not his fingers," he said, "They are your fingers. These are your gentle, beautiful fingers."

Max gave another jolt as Rung drew Max's hands to his mouth. He kissed them. The sensation sent a shudder through Max's frame. Rung's lips felt so soft, so gentle. His array throbbed in longing.

"Rung," he warned, "You should go."

Rung smiled against Max's hands.

"I'm not going anywhere," he said, "I want to help you."

"Help?"

Rung guided one of Max's hands down to press against his valve. The contact, the slight pressure, made his valve ache with relief.

Max was horrified.

"Rung no - I can't..."

"You can," Rung answered.

He used his grasp on Max's hand to rock his palm into his valve. The friction caused Max to shudder.

"Touching yourself isn't dirty Max," Rung said, his voice low and soothing, "Feeling pleasure isn't shameful. This is your hand, your valve. Your choice. You have control. Do you wish to stop?"

"No I..." Max moaned, "It feels..."

Good, it felt good. The way it had before Garrus-9, back when he used the heat as a nice excuse to shut himself away and pleasure himself into a satisfied stupor.

He flexed his fingers experimentally, managing to snag his anterior node. He bucked his hips against the spike of pleasure.

"That's good Max," Rung murmured, "Don't hold back."

Max gritted his dentae,

"I shouldn't - be doing this in front of you."

"I want to watch Max," Rung said softly, "But only if you want it too."

The words made Max ache.

"Yes."

He breached several fingers inside his valve. His valve clenched, nodes buzzing against his digits. He scissored them - a technique he had discovered effective in the past. His frame arched with pleasure. The haze made him bolder, 

"Rung," he moaned, "Touch me - please."

Rung gave him a sweet smile,

“I am touching you Max.” 

He was still clutching Max’s other hand. He pressed it against his chestplate and Max felt the warm, reassuring flux of the orange mech’s spark. 

Rung then leaned forward and kissed him. Kissed him softly and Max lurched forward, desperate to taste more of him. 

Between the feel of Rung, his mouth, his spark, and Max's own fingers working deep into his own valve, he found himself on the edge of climax.

"R-r-rung," his static-filled voice forced out the name urgently.

Rung pulled back and smiled at him,

“It’s okay Max. Let go.”

The psychiatrist's face was the last thing Max saw before overload momentarily crashed his systems. 

When Max came back online, he was alone. 

He drew his fingers from his valve and clutched his knees. 

Shame washed over him. 

Using Rung to fulfill his fantasies. 

No, he told himself. Rung would understand. 

Rung wouldn't want him to suffer.

Rung would want him to heal.

Perhaps one day the real Rung would -

He was getting ahead of himself. 

What did Rung say?

Small steps, Fort Max, small steps.

Small steps.

The corners of Max's mouth lifted slightly in a smile.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write this fic because there are so few stories (at least what that I've found) dealing with a rape victim rediscovering their sexuality and healing from their trauma. I thought it would be realistic for Max to hallucinate Rung in order to tell him all the things he needed to hear but probably couldn't process on his own.


End file.
